When saying see ya later is hard

A new adventure awaits but the hardest part about it is how do you say "see ya later" to 8 yrs of blessed friendships, wonderful church, the kids I have watched grow, & the ministry of volunteering at the pregnancy center that I have enjoyed immensely? Letting go of what you call your "baby" there? When we moved to CA all I wanted to do was change back the clock to my friends there. I was shy & thought I would never make any friends here. Boy was I wrong! I have made more closer friendships here than any other place I have lived at. 

And I guess that's why I have mixed feelings. Yes, I'm happy for my dads new job in KY, our new house, & being closer to some online friends I'm dying to meet but yet I'm sad for the "loss" of friends I will feel. The next two weeks as we pack & prepare to move are sure to be emotional but I know Gods got us in his hands & has a plan for us there even if I don't see it yet. These have been the best years of my life & I know I have grown up maturity wise & spiritually. 

What I have learned is not to say "It's the worst day ever" on every occassion as you just never know what God has in store for you. California was the best 8 years & day ever! 
I would have never had memories such as these, From being brave to be in Beauty in the Beast jr play as a Narator/Baker. 

To finding a new passion & holding those babes in your arms

Lastly to the friends who support you no matter how crazy your idea for your 21st Birthday is.

And so many more!

To all my friends little or tall, I love being your friend & will always be your friend no matter the time zone or distance can make.

Overfilled with Joy

Where do I begin about the blessed week I have had this past week? It all began Monday with hundreds of kids learning about God at our church VBS "Kingdom Rock". This year I was blessed with 3 awesome JR workers & 4 amazing preschool girls. Monday & Tuesday were great way to start the week. Don't get me wrong I love that the kids were connected with the jr workers but honestly like I was doing nothing but be there so Tuesday I was praying & I said God Please let be more useful. He answered my prayers thankfully all 4 kids stayed & I was able to comfort some kids. I don't know I get this feeling that it takes awhile for kids to warm up to me cause I'm not just a jump up & down personality plus my crew this year were quiet/shy for at least the first few days or more. By the end of Wednesday I knew these girls were more comfortable with me. Every year at VBS on Thursday "Spiritual Thursday" we talk about Jesus dying on the cross for our sins & his Resurrection. It's a very serious point of VBS during the week. So this year, I thought I'm going to cry during the skit of Jesus dying for us & that's it. Little did I know God was about to stir in my heart in a mighty way. All during the skit at the finale I had tears in my eyes & shivers on my arms. I was feeling moved but I was just unclear as to what felt different & why I was feeling this way. As they sung "Here is our king" & the part about coming back to Jesus I felt like he was answering me in this way. Thursday before bed I prayed to rededicate my life & all Friday No one knew thoughts of getting Baptized again was on my mind. Later Friday, I texted my dear friend Mischel about the possibility of getting Baptized. For you see I had gotten Baptized at Camp Barnabas in 2007 in the camp pool but I felt like I wanted to rededicate my life for Christ & this time in front of my church family & family. My sister, Sarah was the only one who saw me baptized the first time. Saturday night we both chatted for a few minutes about where my heart was & all what I have been feeling. I will always remember this conversation & cherish it :). Let me explain I had been feeling like I was not being the Christian I should be lately & that I was being a bad example not visibly shown. So I wanted to take this step to recommitting myself to God (I was saved when I was 9-10 years old) & to Live for his Glory. I once felt empty like I was not learning or grasping it fully now I'm filled over abundantly & very excited that my awesome friend, Mischel is available to Baptize me in 3 weeks on August 4th. I'm excited, nervous, & sad all at the same time as it will be our last sunday at our church before we move to KY :(. But as I have learned this week God is helping me to Stand Strong! Thank you God for the blessing of friends & for an amazing life changing filled week at VBS! 

Love redeems

Tonight I had the pleasure of welcoming home 2 cuties home from China. I got to see their sister, Hannah welcomed home from China in 2010 & I was so glad I got to see these two join the Bernard family. This family goes to my church & we know them well. They Homeschool, we carpooled when my brothers attended a private christian school, & they now have us beat by 4 kids LOL. 

Is this finally them? we kept trying to guess the tram they would be on lol. Edited cause of camera setting was not on so I tried to brighten it best as possible.

They are here!

I edited this photo to get the close up view of that Love. Luke is in one of his sisters arms looking at his Mom. Katie is in Moms arms.

                 Poor boy completely exhausted 

                    Glad to have their Mom back

                  Checking out my new siblings

Will add the photo with the poster I made later.

For Now Welcome home Bernard family & may you be blessed in the years to come! I have been amazed by how much Hannah has changed & can't wait to see the progress these two will make!

Back to the grind|Reeces Rainbow

Lately I have not been much in a blogging mood. Nothing has changed much in R & I just felt like it was a good time to take a breather. Thinking of changing the blog header & going to try to figure out some new text styles & colors cause frankly I am getting tired of the same old thing. 

Two Little girls still wait for their families to find them. Is it you?

Somedays I wonder, & wonder what could of been. Why did I decide to pray & advocate for 3 children who just happened  to be in R? Why did "Shooting star girl" have to be in a region most difficult & country most expensive? How can their have been so many to Love her but none were to be her parents? Why did her regions door reopen then later the door to her country come crumbling down? Why has a miracle not happened? But then I think about it, & God tells me no matter what happens it's his plan for their lives. 
Two years ago next Month I found my Passion for Special Needs orphans, it started with two faces I saw on Reece's Rainbow after I followed a blog. I'm so greatful to God that even though just one of the original kids I have advocated for is home, I know many more will soon be home. I don't know what I would do without the daily reminder to keep going. Every time I see precious Quintons picture I'm reminded of the reason I started advocating & not to give up. 

Thank you God for the supportive & loving friends I have that have made these past few years so worth it!! I could never do anything without their prayers & encouragement to keep going. In the meantime I keep praying & trusting in your plan for my life & "my daughters & son in my heart".
If your still reading please be patient & keep me in your prayers as I try hard to fight the devils strings of holding me back in "the dark hole" as he keeps trying to keep me from blogging about what I love to do by advocating for the least of these. It's been tough ever since the ban & I'm trusting that God's got this. Will it ever change the fact of being sad, mad about it? Of course not & though I love these kids no child will never have that same bond I felt with Celine & Cora Lynne. I'm thankful that one of them in a "nice" place & has a Friend to enjoy but still wishing they can be in families. 

A Heart for the Orphans|Reeces Rainbow

I have mentioned my story of how I was lead to help orphans. Now to tell you how these orphans/families stories have changed my life.
When I first started blogging I had not yet found my passion nor had I read adopting families blogs. When I first started reading an adoptive families journey on their blog, Saving Sofia I knew I could never look back. Since then I have read blog after blog, story after story. You may ask what I gain or what I have learned most from the families through RR or those I know who have adopted whether it's private, foster to adopt, or international adoption? 
I have learned that ADOPTION IS NOT EASY,
IT IS HARDWORK,
TAKES A LOT OF FAITH
EACH JOURNEY/CHILD IS DIFFERENT FROM THE NEXT,
IS EXPENSIVE NO MATTER THE ROUTE YOU ADOPT BUT IT IS WORTH THE COST!
WHETHER IT'S A CHILD IN THE USA OR CHINA, OR UKRAINE EVERY CHILD DESERVES THE LOVE A FAMILY CAN BRING!
I have learned so much about the daily life of orphans through the journies these families have blogged about. Through these families I have seen the good, the bad, & the harsh reality these kids face everyday. Hearing their stories has been life changing for me as it makes me want to do more to help these kids. I still hope I can go to one of these countries & help someday.  This video is what changed me the most when I first learned of the orphan crisis of kids with special needs face overseas.

If you have watched this for the first time here are ways to help support the special needs adoption community.
#1 PRAY, PRAY, PRAY FOR THESE ORPHANS, THE FAMILIES IN PROCESS ADOPTING,ETC.
#2 ADVOCATE FOR THE ORPHANS-CAN BE ANYTHING! SHARING IN SOCIAL MEDIA IS A HUGE HELP CAUSE EVEN IF YOU CAN'T ADOPT OR SUPPORT THAT CHILD OR FAMILY SOMEONE ELSE MIGHT FIND THEIR CHILD OR BE ABLE TO SUPPORT SOMEONES ADOPTION
#3 ADOPT-THINK YOU CAN'T ADOPT CAUSE OF THE COST? THEIR ARE PLENTY OF GRANT ORGANIZATIONS OUT THERE OR IF YOU CAN DO THE FOSTER TO ADOPT ROUTE THEIR IS NO/LITTLE COST IN THAT ROUTE.
#4 HELPING ADOPTIVE FAMILIES FUNDRAISE WHETHER IT'S DONATING ITEMS FOR AN AUCTION OR YARD SALE OR SOMETHING ELSE. OR ORGANIZING A FUNDRAISER FOR THEM.
#5-DURING/POST ADOPTION SUPPORT:THAT IS A HUGE NEED OF ADOPTIVE FAMILIES. WHETHER IT'S PRAYER SUPPORT, MEAL SUPPORT, BABYSITTING, ETC. FOR FAMILIES IN PROCESS OR ESPECIALLY AFTER THE ADOPTION IS COMPLETED.

NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO TO HELP BEFORE, DURING, OR AFTER ADOPTING & ORPHANS IT ALL MAKES A DIFFERENCE BIG OR SMALL!

The story continues|Reeces Rainbow

As Heartbroken as each time I think of the girls in someway I know their is still more in the story that needs to be done!
Still they are never forgotten & prayed for every single day. Should their country reopen again I will run like theirs no tomorrow to advocate & fundraise again for them.

This story continues with the precious two girls whose lives I never thought would be intertwined with two I love in a whole seperate country. I have said before it was a fast but tough decision who I thought the grants should go to. When it was just a possibility before the grants decision I was asked & at that time I thought of several kids who thankfully found their families when this tough decision later came about.

Luckily within days of reallowcating the grants two of the girls who got Celine & Cora Lynnes grants found families.
Moving onward, the two other girls who recieved New Hope grants from Celine still need families. 

I have not blogged much lately cause I am kinda still in grieving process. To tell you the truth, most days I don't like going to my family found page as much as I use to cause it makes me sad not seeing them on that page & thinking I might not ever. I don't know why but R****a has a hold on me so much. Nothing against other countries I just feel called to this one. 

For now the story does have a bright spot & that's these girls.                                    Maria

                                      Brandi (53)

I sure hope their Mommies are out there somewhere!
Maria is a Gorgeous girl & almost all her adoption is covered already! $15,000 grant

Brandi is a pretty girl who needs someone to Love her. She has a grant of $10,681.29.

If you can't be my Mommy will you consider making a donation to my grant?

or Mine?

The story continues even when Hope is lost. For now all I have going on is my online scrapbook fundraiser & the amazon link. I'm thinking once we have moved another fundraiser or more will be in the works as I still have yet to reach my 21 for 21 goal! Please check out the fundraising page & PLEASE USE MY AMAZON BOX TO THE RIGHT if you need to order anything from Amazon. 

Pray for these girls to find families & I can't ask enough to KEEP PRAYING FOR THE ORPHANS STUCK IN R****a & even in other countries that are currently closed to international adoption. 

NOTE PLEASE CHECK OUT WHAT THIS GIRL IS STILL TRYING TO DO! BRANDI IS ONE OF THE ORPHANS SHE SELECTED TO BENEFIT & I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THAT MONEY GO TO HER!!! WATCH HER VIDEO & SHARE IT!!

His plan, my story|Reece's Rainbow

Ever since I was little I fantasized my life when I grew up, I made up folders with magazine cutouts of my house, & my Husband. I use to say all the time I was going to only adopt & I would have a houseful of kids. But, I never truly understood the cause of the orphans til I was 18. I'm not sure what I pictured of an orphan in my 6-8 yr old mind.

When I was mid elementary age, I did a report about Down Syndrome (which my sister has) & before then I never fully grasped what Trisomy 21 was & all the learning that went into that report was just a helpful tool for what was to come.

While he was etching the path for my passion, my sister & I had come to love a christian summer camp for kids with special needs & their siblings. As soon as we picked my sister up from camp & were watching the video I just knew I wanted to come the following summer. In 2003, I attended that camp for the first time & I enjoyed it enough to go back!
2004 was another good year at camp & not wanting to leave on the last day yet again. 2005 I wanted to go back but God had other plans as we said goodbye to our home in MO of 5 years to embark on a new journey to CA. It was just not possible to fly back over the summer so though I missed it that year I knew I wanted to go back the following summer.
2006 was a great time to come back as Extreme Home makeover had redone some things at Camp & built some new Buildings so I was excited to return. 

Each summer I grew in my faith, made new friends, got brave to try new things & got to discuss the daily life of being a sibling to someone with Special Needs with others who knew what I was going through. The First new thing I tried was the slides. I was so scared but then I don't remember if it was someone at camp talking to me or what but I decided to try out the side slide which was less scary than the other slide. My whole cabin was waiting for me at the bottom of the slide cheering me on which made me less scared/nervous. Summer 2007 I tried the big slide which I'm glad I did! 

That year also brought me the courage to finally get baptized in the camp pool. 2008 came this time I attended camp without my sister as she decided she did not want to come back. I still had a great time though. 2009 God had other plans for me. I wanted to try going to youth group camp instead as usually they were held the same week. 

Well the camp I signed up for turned out to be a different plan than the whole group expected. Halfway through the first day, I got sick. Almost all the years I went to the other camp it was the same deal. As I tried to rest while my parents were going to be called, a precious friend kept checking on me to make sure I was okay. When I woke up my Mom was there, as we walked back to the car to leave tears pouring down my cheeks I wished I could have made it through the week. Each day I was in a blah sort of mood as all my friends were at camp & I was at home with nothing to do. My Mom came up with the idea for me to go back for part of the day. So when we arrived everyone was so glad to see me. That days plan was to go white river rafting. I was scared out of my mind but after it was said & done I'm glad I got to go. 

The next summer I decided to go back to the camp in MO with another church group but instead of being a sibling camper I would go as a CIA (Christians in Action) counselor. What I expected was I would be in a cabin with a 1:1 interaction with a camper with Special Needs.  Well, God knew what I could handle so he put me in a cabin with siblings & not only that but two of the girls in my cabin had been my cabin mates in previous years. I managed that year quite well not getting sick til the last day but I managed to feel better before I had to leave. That summer I now will always cherish as my "last" full time at Camp. 

You may ask why I put last in quotes? I will answer that in a moment but first I want to tell you the camp has a mini camp every twice a year over a weekend period. Since my Grandma lived nearby in fall 2010 I thought it was perfect timing to go see her then spend the weekend at Camp. God then answered by request from that summer when he gave me a somewhat challenging younger camper with Down Syndrome & living with a cabin full of girls with Down Syndrome. I learned so much that weekend that not all kids with Down Syndrome are alike.

I did not realize the next challenge & different twist God had planned. 2011 I planned going to Camp in MO by myself & serve there yet again. I was prepared but I did not even last a day before I got sick. I had been placed in a challenging cabin full of campers with various forms of autism & it was decided I would be a floater since I had been to camp before. What is a floater? A floater is an extra counselor so to speak in case a counselor gets sick or if a camper is more challenging & they need some extra help. I felt better kinda part of the time & enjoyed spending it with their cabin but sadly it did not last for the week. After discussing it for awhile people from camp decided it was best I go home. It was a stormy night as my Mom came to get me to go back to the town my Grandma was at. I was devastated, hurt emotionally, & angry. I got mad & blamed myself & played the what if game of it. I cried many buckets of tears over the next few days after. Though I will never fully share the details of what went on & though I did sorta get over it took me at least a year or more to fully heal from what all went on that summer.

I would say the hardest part was forgiveness to the person(s) that I felt hurt from.When I finally did I felt so relieved that I did. I finally got back to wearing the camp shirts I had even though I had a hard time I still supported camp in what they do for these kids. 2012 I just felt I needed to take a break from camp. I did miss going but I think back now that maybe God just had something different in store.
This year, my friends have asked if I'm going to camp & the answer to that is No. I just have this feeling that God is not leading me back there & I don't have the urge to go. Please don't get me wrong like I said above I still support the camp & their love for the campers, it's just time for me to move on at least for now.

Only God, I went back to look to see what I wrote in July 2012 & realized that's when I originally announced I was going to Russia with an adoptive family. Sadly his path was different as that trip was closed with the Russian adoption ban with the USA. I believe he has given me a Love for that country that I have never even been to for a reason. My parents & sister went there long time ago to serve on a Mission trip & help be a part of building a church there. We have a few friends from Russia. Almost all the orphans I first started advocating for are stuck in R. I find it no coincidence that I love Russia so much & just maybe this is the plan God has set for me.

Thank you girls for leading me to a country I Love & I am still praying for God's Plan in your lives.