My heart is not here

My heart is just not here,

Where did it go I wonder?

It went to a country, I am passionate about.

More importantly it's the place where adoptions to the USA are now banned,

It's why it takes every effort not to burst into tears while watching the Olympics in that country wondering why the presidents don't care, 

I just want to punch & yell til my lungs grow hoarse at the P & O men when they show them on tv.

It hurts so much & I'm not even adopting so why do I care? 

Because I have a sister had she been born there she might have been stuck the rest of her days rocking back & forth with nothing to do. Yes, I would take her high off pitched singing anyday. On days when I just want to yell at her for the way she was unkind to me I choose to forgive her & love her regardless.

Sometimes I don't understand why God gave me this passion in particular for orphans in Russia if the doors to that country were going to be shut but I trust he has a plan for me & these orphans even if I don't see it yet.

You may think why should I care? Or you may not even know about the adoption ban or what happens to these kids if not adopted? Kids get transferred from the "baby house" between 4-6 years old to adult mental institutions. Conditions in these orphanages & institutions can be from babies/adults being tied to cribs all day, to sitting in their soiled diapers, to rocking back & forth, to getting beaten & bruised, & many more worse things happen. CHILDREN & ADULTS WITH SPECIAL NEEDS LIVING IN THESE PLACES HAVE AN 80% CHANCE OF DYING ALONE ACCORDING TO STATISTICS. Though some of the orphanages & mental institutions are okay nothing compares to the love a family can bring to a child. I'm tired of sitting around not doing more to help whatever way I can do to help orphans be adopted in Russia, change perspectives of special needs kids to be raised by their biological parents & have the resources to do so, & BRING ABOUT CHANGE!! This hurts so deeply that I'm gonna do something to help! I was going to write an update on my 21 for 21 final tally but that can wait. I had a blogpost in my draft folder that I was going to post about how angel tree ended but that too can wait its turn. RIGHT NOW DURING THE OLYMPICS I'M POSTING MY HEART OUT!! I don't care if only one person reads this or a dozen people read this I'm doing what I need to do & saying what's on my mind right now. 

Right now I'm not posting much about normal life or the Olympics, cause I care more about the kids who still wait like Natasha who will be my facebook profile picture during the remainder of the Olympics.

ITS TIME FOR SOME CHANGE! WILL YOU JOIN ME? PRAY LIKE I AM DOING FOR THE ORPHANS, PRESIDENTS O & P, & FOR ME AS I HURT BADLY FOR THESE PRECIOUS LIVES. I was going to go to their country before the ban now I just wait for what God has for me. Russia, still holds my heart & just wish I could have a clear answer what I should do about it. ADVOCATE & PLEASE OH PLEASE SHARE!! SHARE THE STORIES, POST THIS PICTURE ON YOUR FACEBOOK OR INSTAGRAM OR TWITTER OR WHATEVER I DON'T CARE JUST PLEASE HELP!!! I'm tired & worn, & I need some new friends to join I along with the others who have been fighting since the ban happened in December 2012! I know your busy & have a life to live, I'm busy with my life too but I'm taking just a short while to me to write what I'm passionate about. It truly would mean the world to me to have my friends standing with me on my passion & even just take one second to change their profile picture/share about these kids or 10 minutes to pray for these kids. Cause 1 life can make a difference! This is not about me but bringing Glory to the one True King! God tells us to care for the orphans in the bible & that's what I'm gonna do. 

Never forgotten

This has been sitting in my draft folder for far too long. As the year mark of when the ban happened came up I was so busy with the Holidays & family I did not get a chance to sit down to write what is on my heart. Firstly I want you to watch this video. These are the parents who had met their children & then the ban happened so they had to leave them behind. My heart is truly broken with them that they might never see these babes again. Some of them may get adopted in their own country but chances are slim for those kids who have 

special needs. Next, take a moment to go read the Hat Story
http://operationorphannomore.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-christmas-hats-story.html
I was so blessed to play a part of this story & help a girl I love dearly. She says it better in her post then I can describe. 
To the girls that hold a piece of my heart, I long for the day when you both can find families who love you endlessly.

I'm greatful that your loved my darling shooting star but it still is nothing compared to the love of a family. I ache with every breath everytime I look at the play house at Sams Club & remember that day I pictured you & your friend, Natasha playing in that house. So, this time when I went past the playhouse I know I needed to take a picture to show everyone a glimpse of what I was visioning inside my head. I managed not to sigh or cry this time but it did make me sad a little to take this photo & realize you might never get to play inside it. Darling girl, if ever your country changes its mind I'm gonna save to get you & your friend a playhouse no matter if I have to save every single penny for awhile. It may not be this same one but I know it's every little girls dream to have a playhouse. 

To my other darling, I long to know if your okay. It breaks my heart everytime I think of you. No updates or photos. I try not to worry but it scares me the not knowing. Know that I love you sweet girl & praying your being loved in some way!

And I can't forget my prayer child Alden,

My sisters "look alike" (picture from when she was much younger on left side)

Finally Precious Carmen,

FACES REMEMBERED BUT NEVER FORGOTTEN! Lifting them all up in prayer & sending them love from afar.  PLEASE DO NOT FORGET THESE PRECIOUS FACES & SAY A PRAYER FOR ALL THE BABES STUCK IN R****A!

Good News!

You may be wondering why I no longer have Joshua's button or donation box on here. It's because thankfully he has A FAMILY! 

As of now, no one has heard from his family so it does not look like I will get to know his new family so as of now I will be focusing efforts on Haisten & any money I have collected from fundraising will go to him. I will update if I get any more information but as of now that's what is happening. If you have donated to Joshua no worries if for some reason his family does not step forward to go through the process for a FSP with Reeces Rainbow donations will go to another child. Thanks for all the support! Now, even though Haisten has no adorable photo to admire let's be sure to get him to his goal of $1,000. 

Friends Forever & cherished memories

This past year has truly been the hardest with advocating as last year the big gates of a country closed its door to adoption. That country held two precious treasures (among others) that did not have families. 

I don't remember when it was maybe a year or so into advocating for her after she was transferred I discovered only one family had ever adopted from where she was but the director was very welcoming to adoption. I found another family would soon be adopting their soon to be daughter from that same place.
All along, don't tell me why since before I knew I pictured Celine with this girl. Maybe, it was their similar hair, about the same age, or cause they were in the same place. I pictured them together in a play house in sams club running around. The day I realized they were together in the same group made me happy & little did I know the peace of that fact would give to me. 

Little did I know the gift God had given me through this sweet girl after the ban took place. I hurt with her dear mom who truly loves this girl & wants her to be with a family. I was looking forward to getting to meet her & I still hope someday I will. They are friends in their institution & though it's a wonderful place both her mom & I hurt for them both. Now, I know why I visioned them together so long ago. THEY NEEDED EACH OTHER, despite the fact that one is wanted & loved I'm thankful they have each other.

It's been heartbreaking as I go through the many 1st's of what I was doing this time last year. The cherished memories as I watched a miracle unfold to get celine voted onto angel tree, got gifts from friends for her grant, the trials of fundraising during angel tree, then the joy seeing her get to her goal & beyond 13 days into Angel Tree 2012 with the help of amazing warriors, the start of my planning for my 21st Birthday fundraiser & many more. As I look yet another year at the stockings hung with notes of prayer & the many ornaments hung on the tree who are stuck just makes me sick to my stomach & want to burst into tears every time I walk into my room.

I had started little stockings for my girls with notes of prayer in them (that some friends had given me) that I would not take down til they found families. I then ended up moving so I had to pack them but this year I plan to keep them in their spot. I even have had little gifts for them including scrapbooks for their future families. It stings as I now have a corner filled with cherished memories, & I have a few special necklaces that somehow relate to them. One has Cora lynnes picture, another I bought from a fundraiser I did, & the most special one of all is the gift an anonymous friend gave to me which (at least from what I assume) had the charms of both girls birthstones. Every single thing has a memory from one or both girls down to my scentsy which was purchased from the fundraiser I did. I just can't think of the memories all the time or that would bring me down.

We had thought at one point a special needs amendment might happen so since they were still listed at that point I pressed forward on the 21st Birthday plan I started thinking about in October 2012 then started planning that December when the ban took place. This is my LIGHT OUT OF DARKNESS MEMORY is the blessing that took place on & before Feb. 4, 2013

That's truly one 21st Birthday (or any one!) that I will always remember! All I had wanted was to fundraise for two girls & though it turned out differently than planned if it had not been for the love my friends shared to support my passion 1 girl might not be home with her family, & the other 3 with families on their way. 
Even if you don't know it Girls, I love you more than words can ever say! 

Prayers answered!

I have not updated lately on my two girl butterflies,

Maria happily has a family!

And finally after almost 3 years of praying,

Yep, Brandi has found her family too!!! Brandi, has a special story of how I started to pray for her & I'm greatful God laid her on my heart that day http://lifesbeautifulbutterflies.blogspot.com/2012/04/when-god-tells-you-something-you-do-it.html. I was so happy both days these girls found families & I can't wait til both girls are home! As Happy as I am it's always going to sting with pain knowing that each of these girls received a precious piece of my heart that makes me heartbroken for my daughter of my heart. These girls gained life & partly due to this precious "heart daughter" they are able to be rescued. 

While continuing the prayers answered post, I want to say this girl is now HOME!!

Mary Kay Fundraiser!

Things have been well, slowly moving for both Joshua & Haisten. I was debating to do any more online fundraising as I did not want to "force" or have people thinking they needed to order from every single fundraiser but then my friend brought up that she could do a Mary Kay party for me. As I thought about it different things draw different people I decided to give this my best shot at one of my last attempts for online fundraising for angel tree. So, without further ado here's all the info you need to know!

PLEASE ORDER TODAY OR SHARE!!!

Thankful Thursday NOT Thankless Thursday|Reeces Rainbow

You may be wondering whats up with the title of my post? First of all those of you know the tradition of "Black Friday" & how every year people rush out the day after thanksgiving to get the latest & greatest electronics or other deal items. I do admit us girls in my family have done this almost every year not necessarily for the very best deals but the fun of getting up early to shop & spend time with each other just the girls. Last year, when store opening times went into thanksgiving we went shopping later still on Friday & I told my Mom I wanted to be sure to support the businesses that stayed closed on Thanksgiving. We went to Jc Penney (one of the rare stores I find clothes I actually like) as they were one of the main stores that stayed closed. I had seen some picture of a sign on their door (or something?) that they wanted employees to spend time with their families on thanksgiving so they would be closed that was floating around on facebook. This year when I saw how many national store chains will be open even earlier on thanksgiving (including Jc Penney) & how little stores that will be closed thanksgiving day I was mad & sad at the world we live in. ITS NO LONGER BLACK FRIDAY BUT INSTEAD THANKLESS THURSDAY CAUSE REALLY YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO BE THANKFUL FOR FAMILY BUT INSTEAD BUY MORE & MORE STUFF! This is why I will no longer be participating on Thursdays shopping event. If I happen to be out & about Friday great but I'm not purposely shopping for anything. Today, I'm thankful that I'm not one of the 147 Million orphans in this world. So instead of thankless Thursday let it be a thankful Thursday of what God has blessed you with & give to those that have nothing. 
If you recall my Lost Get Found Giveaway, & the other times I have mentioned him their was a lost boy named "Heath".

Well I'm THANKFUL TO SAY HE IS HOME WITH HIS FAMILY!!!! Thank you God for laying him on my heart & allowing me to find a "lost" American Girl doll so this Lost could be found!

If you want to be thankful for what you do have & make it Thankful Thursday by giving back why don't you order some coffee to help Joshua find his forever family?

Or you can donate to his grant http://reecesrainbow.org/63210/joshua
Support Haisten too by donating to his grant
http://reecesrainbow.org/68534/haisten
ALSO TOMORROW THE MY THIRTY ONE GIFTS FUNDRAISER ENDS & I HAVE ONLY GOTTEN A FEW ORDERS. 50% OF PROCEEDS GOES TO THE BOYS. SO GO TO MY LEAH H. (ONLY PARTY ON THERE) PARTY TO ORDER! Lots of cool things that would make great Christmas gifts! When you spend $35 or more you can get a medium utility tote for just $7! https://www.mythirtyone.com/forms/frm_event_my_events.aspx
I wish you all a very blessed & thankful thanksgiving this Thursday!