The Waves of Grief

Grief, It's not a subject most like to talk about much less myself but feel in my heart lead to share. 

In the Last 3 years my dog disappeared

And I lost 2 of the dearest ladies in my life, My Mamaw

And most recently My Great Aunt.

I'm not gonna Lie it hasn't been easy.

Grief comes in many stages & Holidays & Birthdays are tough. 

You try not to waddle around in your stage of grief but their are times when you know you can't handle something so you quickly avoid it. I was in the store shopping during the Holidays remembering one of my Grandmas last Christmas when we were at Kohls & she was taking her time picking out Holiday towels for her caregivers & had to quickly avoid the holiday towels section. I'm not one to cry in public or share my emotions but their are certain times you feel so overwhelmed.

Do you play the I wish I had done this game?

I know I try not to go there but somedays it makes me sad knowing I missed out on so much & with my dog wishing I could have calmed her from the storm.

We try to remember the Happy times but their are times when it is tough but you know what?

I'm thankful that I'm never alone.

I have a supportive family, great friends beside me & a God who loves me like crazy.

I know not all might have that which is why I wanted to share my feelings on this topic & want everyone to know your not alone. Grief is not an easy thing to go through, you feel lonely at times, you might question what you still have left in you, you start to be fearful of the what ifs of life & afraid of your heart breaking all over again.

I have dealt with most of those feelings, & I'm one to "stuff" them & not share but I want others to know if you need someone to talk with I'm here.

Cherish every day as if it were your last because that's the way I know my Mamaw & Great Aunt lived their lives. Most importantly I know God wants me to live my life that way so that's what I will do.

I know Grief is strong & hard at times, Satan is wanting it to tear you down but Gods light always will shine brighter than the darkness.

Their are days it's okay to Grieve, cry & miss your loved one. It's also okay to laugh, be happy, & smile too!

A Birthday wish

My Birthday is about 3 weeks away, in the past I have asked instead of gifts donations to orphans in need of forever families.

I did my 21 for 21 for my 21st Birthday http://lifesbeautifulbutterflies.blogspot.com/2013/02/feb-4th-2013-night-i-will-always-cherish.html, so now what? 

25 holds special meaning in my life as it means I reach the official age Limit to adopt (no I'm not ready yet) With that I celebrate that joy & what I want more this year is for other kids to know the love & joy family can bring which is why I'm launching/praying that 25 kids will find families by my 25th Birthday on Feb 4th. 6 have already found families praying for 19 more including the 16 above.

25 kids, 3 weeks lets do this!!