Sunday, December 8, 2013

Friends Forever & cherished memories

This past year has truly been the hardest with advocating as last year the big gates of a country closed its door to adoption. That country held two precious treasures (among others) that did not have families. 
I don't remember when it was maybe a year or so into advocating for her after she was transferred I discovered only one family had ever adopted from where she was but the director was very welcoming to adoption. I found another family would soon be adopting their soon to be daughter from that same place.
All along, don't tell me why since before I knew I pictured Celine with this girl. Maybe, it was their similar hair, about the same age, or cause they were in the same place. I pictured them together in a play house in sams club running around. The day I realized they were together in the same group made me happy & little did I know the peace of that fact would give to me. 
Little did I know the gift God had given me through this sweet girl after the ban took place. I hurt with her dear mom who truly loves this girl & wants her to be with a family. I was looking forward to getting to meet her & I still hope someday I will. They are friends in their institution & though it's a wonderful place both her mom & I hurt for them both. Now, I know why I visioned them together so long ago. THEY NEEDED EACH OTHER, despite the fact that one is wanted & loved I'm thankful they have each other.

It's been heartbreaking as I go through the many 1st's of what I was doing this time last year. The cherished memories as I watched a miracle unfold to get celine voted onto angel tree, got gifts from friends for her grant, the trials of fundraising during angel tree, then the joy seeing her get to her goal & beyond 13 days into Angel Tree 2012 with the help of amazing warriors, the start of my planning for my 21st Birthday fundraiser & many more. As I look yet another year at the stockings hung with notes of prayer & the many ornaments hung on the tree who are stuck just makes me sick to my stomach & want to burst into tears every time I walk into my room.
I had started little stockings for my girls with notes of prayer in them (that some friends had given me) that I would not take down til they found families. I then ended up moving so I had to pack them but this year I plan to keep them in their spot. I even have had little gifts for them including scrapbooks for their future families. It stings as I now have a corner filled with cherished memories, & I have a few special necklaces that somehow relate to them. One has Cora lynnes picture, another I bought from a fundraiser I did, & the most special one of all is the gift an anonymous friend gave to me which (at least from what I assume) had the charms of both girls birthstones. Every single thing has a memory from one or both girls down to my scentsy which was purchased from the fundraiser I did. I just can't think of the memories all the time or that would bring me down.
We had thought at one point a special needs amendment might happen so since they were still listed at that point I pressed forward on the 21st Birthday plan I started thinking about in October 2012 then started planning that December when the ban took place. This is my LIGHT OUT OF DARKNESS MEMORY is the blessing that took place on & before Feb. 4, 2013
That's truly one 21st Birthday (or any one!) that I will always remember! All I had wanted was to fundraise for two girls & though it turned out differently than planned if it had not been for the love my friends shared to support my passion 1 girl might not be home with her family, & the other 3 with families on their way. 
Even if you don't know it Girls, I love you more than words can ever say! 

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