Sunday, October 18, 2015

Trials, Answered prayers, & big leaps

Throughout my life I have had various trials, & back when I had those moments in my life where I struggled I now know they made me even stronger. Back in 2010, I started this blog because I found a new passion & I knew that I couldn't turn away from what I had seen from videos, pictures, & reading blogs. Honestly I was overwhelmed knowing these conditions use to exist in our own country yet still existed in other countries.
I thought, How can I help I'm only 18? I can't adopt but I know I needed to help. Then came the girl with the huge grin & the boy with the dark eyes that melted my heart to pieces. And the rest so I thought was History.

The moment I got an email from that boys new family I was filled with joy.
And one of the Happiest answered prayers was seeing Quinton find his forever family. Not only that but I had been trying so hard to get the chance to meet him & God finally answered my request summer 2014. 

I didn't realize then how much you could love someone you had never met. Time & time again I felt my heart connect to several kiddos but 2 I knew if I was older & circumstances were different they would be my daughters in an instance. 
From the moment I first laid eyes on both I knew I wanted them to find families since I could never be their mom. 
So I fought on their behalf, doing everything I could possibly do so that families could find them. 
October has been a huge month because of all those events mostly happening for the girl with huge grin. It's also her Birthday month.
And then came the Trial that turned a huge world upside down including my own. An adoption Ban for both the girls country came into place. I couldn't make sense of it, why on earth could someone do something like that? I wasn't even adopting them but yet it hurt me. For a short while their was hope of a special needs amendment but day by day that hope was soon dashed. It was a struggle for me, because I felt so much as if these girls were my own. At the time because my world had been so much fighting for them, I felt like I was in a dark place. It's been almost 3 yrs & I'm still saddened that the girl with the huge grin now 10 yrs old growing up without a family & my other sweet girl. Though thankfully she is in a good place still it's tough & the other one I have no clue & that makes my heart ache.
For a time, I didn't want to see anymore faces, didn't want to get attached in fear of my heart getting broken again. But then things changed & I was starting to feel like I needed to come back to what I was passionate about. Every year since after the ban, I have almost changed my mind about Angel Tree. Angel Tree is the campaign every year to advocate & try to raise $1,000 for that child's grant. 2013, I had originally taken on two but thankfully one found a family. Last year I had Sasha, so when I saw she was going to be on the Angel Tree this year once again I knew I needed to be her warrior.
The further it got before signups for Warriors to close I knew I had to take that big leap & signup for another child even if I didn't reach the goal for one or both of them, their was no way I was going to see another child not on Angel Tree so I signed up for Ryan
I know this never promises to be easy, but I'm trusting God will provide for these two precious children. As I just posted on Facebook, after all I'm so glad I took a HUGE CRAZY LEAP OF FAITH 3 yrs ago this month planning for my 21st Birthday
I don't know where I would be today without the loving support of friends, family, & strangers. Next to God it's what motivates me even when I'm frustrated or discouraged. So I thank all my friends for all your love & support!

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