Thursday, January 21, 2016

When your Heart feels like it's about to break all over again

I had planned to blog more when Angel Tree was going but it just didn't happen. I know most who will read this either know me or already have seen my posts via fb & IG but felt like I needed to share my heart here. Let's go back to the wonderful moment of joy when Sasha had reached her goal, a miracle like it was before in 2014. I was over the moon excited & as 2016 began I was ready for a year with no heartache, a fresh start from 2015 with loosing my Mamaw & pretty sure our doggy we have had a long time. 
Then like the crashing storms of a wave, on January 7th it was announced Sasha was critically ill & no longer available for adoption. I lost it, & took some time off social media. I knew she was sick but didn't realize it was this major. My time away brought me to a new place & realizing it was time to do my fighting in prayer on her behalf. So I'm asking anyone who reads this will you please pray for a miracle for Sasha?
Her grant has been gifted to another little girl who needs a family.
This is what I shared on my Fb (edited a bit) not too long after coming back from my break: 
I have had a few days with just with no posting or advocating much for orphans. I have spent time in Prayer, pleading on behalf of a little girl who has my heart right now who is ill. I will be Honest, It's been tough. (still is a bit!) I really took it hard with the 2 girls who still have my heart country shut down to adoption. I have shared here how much I hurt with the girls & How I didn't feel like I could handle anything more. When I signed up to be a Angel Tree warrior after the ban then again when I saw Sasha I didn't want to risk feeling that deep pain again. Some people might ask why do I feel that way if their not family to me? Just like the Girls felt like daughters to me Sasha I felt that too.
This is what I wrote just recently:
Their have been many times I have 2nd guessed or doubted what I was doing.
4 years ago I launched The Lost Get Found Giveaway out of an unexpected blessing of an American Girl doll that somehow got found in our garage as we were preparing to move. I thought it was crazy how we never realized that their was a brand new doll that never got returned. 3 years ago this same timing God laid it on my heart to try to raise $21,000 for orphans by doing my $21 for 21 campaign for my 21st Birthday. Both fundraisers recently appeared in my timehop app & I guess I always need that reminder that even through the trials I shouldn't doubt or 2nd guess cause this is what I'm meant to do. 

I know I still will have those moments of doubt, if I should continue to have my heart broken for the least of these. But if not me than who? He didn't say this road would be clear of troubles so I keep my eyes set on him & keep traveling on this beautiful road & passion I discovered about 6 years ago. As we sang at church on Sunday "It is well with my soul".

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