Thursday, May 30, 2013

The story continues|Reeces Rainbow

As Heartbroken as each time I think of the girls in someway I know their is still more in the story that needs to be done!
Still they are never forgotten & prayed for every single day. Should their country reopen again I will run like theirs no tomorrow to advocate & fundraise again for them.

This story continues with the precious two girls whose lives I never thought would be intertwined with two I love in a whole seperate country. I have said before it was a fast but tough decision who I thought the grants should go to. When it was just a possibility before the grants decision I was asked & at that time I thought of several kids who thankfully found their families when this tough decision later came about.

Luckily within days of reallowcating the grants two of the girls who got Celine & Cora Lynnes grants found families.
Moving onward, the two other girls who recieved New Hope grants from Celine still need families. 

I have not blogged much lately cause I am kinda still in grieving process. To tell you the truth, most days I don't like going to my family found page as much as I use to cause it makes me sad not seeing them on that page & thinking I might not ever. I don't know why but R****a has a hold on me so much. Nothing against other countries I just feel called to this one. 

For now the story does have a bright spot & that's these girls.                                    Maria
                                      Brandi (53)
I sure hope their Mommies are out there somewhere!
Maria is a Gorgeous girl & almost all her adoption is covered already! $15,000 grant
Brandi is a pretty girl who needs someone to Love her. She has a grant of $10,681.29.
If you can't be my Mommy will you consider making a donation to my grant?

or Mine?
The story continues even when Hope is lost. For now all I have going on is my online scrapbook fundraiser & the amazon link. I'm thinking once we have moved another fundraiser or more will be in the works as I still have yet to reach my 21 for 21 goal! Please check out the fundraising page & PLEASE USE MY AMAZON BOX TO THE RIGHT if you need to order anything from Amazon. 

Pray for these girls to find families & I can't ask enough to KEEP PRAYING FOR THE ORPHANS STUCK IN R****a & even in other countries that are currently closed to international adoption. 


Tuesday, May 28, 2013

His plan, my story|Reece's Rainbow

Ever since I was little I fantasized my life when I grew up, I made up folders with magazine cutouts of my house, & my Husband. I use to say all the time I was going to only adopt & I would have a houseful of kids. But, I never truly understood the cause of the orphans til I was 18. I'm not sure what I pictured of an orphan in my 6-8 yr old mind.

When I was mid elementary age, I did a report about Down Syndrome (which my sister has) & before then I never fully grasped what Trisomy 21 was & all the learning that went into that report was just a helpful tool for what was to come.

While he was etching the path for my passion, my sister & I had come to love a christian summer camp for kids with special needs & their siblings. As soon as we picked my sister up from camp & were watching the video I just knew I wanted to come the following summer. In 2003, I attended that camp for the first time & I enjoyed it enough to go back!
2004 was another good year at camp & not wanting to leave on the last day yet again. 2005 I wanted to go back but God had other plans as we said goodbye to our home in MO of 5 years to embark on a new journey to CA. It was just not possible to fly back over the summer so though I missed it that year I knew I wanted to go back the following summer.
2006 was a great time to come back as Extreme Home makeover had redone some things at Camp & built some new Buildings so I was excited to return. 

Each summer I grew in my faith, made new friends, got brave to try new things & got to discuss the daily life of being a sibling to someone with Special Needs with others who knew what I was going through. The First new thing I tried was the slides. I was so scared but then I don't remember if it was someone at camp talking to me or what but I decided to try out the side slide which was less scary than the other slide. My whole cabin was waiting for me at the bottom of the slide cheering me on which made me less scared/nervous. Summer 2007 I tried the big slide which I'm glad I did! 

That year also brought me the courage to finally get baptized in the camp pool. 2008 came this time I attended camp without my sister as she decided she did not want to come back. I still had a great time though. 2009 God had other plans for me. I wanted to try going to youth group camp instead as usually they were held the same week. 

Well the camp I signed up for turned out to be a different plan than the whole group expected. Halfway through the first day, I got sick. Almost all the years I went to the other camp it was the same deal. As I tried to rest while my parents were going to be called, a precious friend kept checking on me to make sure I was okay. When I woke up my Mom was there, as we walked back to the car to leave tears pouring down my cheeks I wished I could have made it through the week. Each day I was in a blah sort of mood as all my friends were at camp & I was at home with nothing to do. My Mom came up with the idea for me to go back for part of the day. So when we arrived everyone was so glad to see me. That days plan was to go white river rafting. I was scared out of my mind but after it was said & done I'm glad I got to go. 

The next summer I decided to go back to the camp in MO with another church group but instead of being a sibling camper I would go as a CIA (Christians in Action) counselor. What I expected was I would be in a cabin with a 1:1 interaction with a camper with Special Needs.  Well, God knew what I could handle so he put me in a cabin with siblings & not only that but two of the girls in my cabin had been my cabin mates in previous years. I managed that year quite well not getting sick til the last day but I managed to feel better before I had to leave. That summer I now will always cherish as my "last" full time at Camp. 

You may ask why I put last in quotes? I will answer that in a moment but first I want to tell you the camp has a mini camp every twice a year over a weekend period. Since my Grandma lived nearby in fall 2010 I thought it was perfect timing to go see her then spend the weekend at Camp. God then answered by request from that summer when he gave me a somewhat challenging younger camper with Down Syndrome & living with a cabin full of girls with Down Syndrome. I learned so much that weekend that not all kids with Down Syndrome are alike.

I did not realize the next challenge & different twist God had planned. 2011 I planned going to Camp in MO by myself & serve there yet again. I was prepared but I did not even last a day before I got sick. I had been placed in a challenging cabin full of campers with various forms of autism & it was decided I would be a floater since I had been to camp before. What is a floater? A floater is an extra counselor so to speak in case a counselor gets sick or if a camper is more challenging & they need some extra help. I felt better kinda part of the time & enjoyed spending it with their cabin but sadly it did not last for the week. After discussing it for awhile people from camp decided it was best I go home. It was a stormy night as my Mom came to get me to go back to the town my Grandma was at. I was devastated, hurt emotionally, & angry. I got mad & blamed myself & played the what if game of it. I cried many buckets of tears over the next few days after. Though I will never fully share the details of what went on & though I did sorta get over it took me at least a year or more to fully heal from what all went on that summer.

I would say the hardest part was forgiveness to the person(s) that I felt hurt from.When I finally did I felt so relieved that I did. I finally got back to wearing the camp shirts I had even though I had a hard time I still supported camp in what they do for these kids. 2012 I just felt I needed to take a break from camp. I did miss going but I think back now that maybe God just had something different in store.
This year, my friends have asked if I'm going to camp & the answer to that is No. I just have this feeling that God is not leading me back there & I don't have the urge to go. Please don't get me wrong like I said above I still support the camp & their love for the campers, it's just time for me to move on at least for now.

Only God, I went back to look to see what I wrote in July 2012 & realized that's when I originally announced I was going to Russia with an adoptive family. Sadly his path was different as that trip was closed with the Russian adoption ban with the USA. I believe he has given me a Love for that country that I have never even been to for a reason. My parents & sister went there long time ago to serve on a Mission trip & help be a part of building a church there. We have a few friends from Russia. Almost all the orphans I first started advocating for are stuck in R. I find it no coincidence that I love Russia so much & just maybe this is the plan God has set for me.

Thank you girls for leading me to a country I Love & I am still praying for God's Plan in your lives.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Memory Keepsake Box|Reeces Rainbow

How do you hold the daughters of your heart close to you? I had scrapbooks already for each of them but these came at a perfect timing.
When I found these I thought I would decorate each side & inside I can hold the gifts I had for them already & the prayer notes that were previously in the stockings I had for them. On each side I have described each of them & on the front the names I have called them most. In Celines, her ornament waits for her family. Both of the boxes I will put their pictures on top.
Girls, I hold you with me always.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

New Photos of Maria|Reeces Rainbow

I'm pleased to share these pictures of Maria taken just 8 days ago!
Her smile is just precious & I'm sure when she finds her family her teeth could use some dental care!
And this one is adorable! How can you not resist her smile & want to scoop her into your arms?
She has a $15,000 grant of New Hope now where is her Mama?

Sunday, May 12, 2013

A Mothers Love|Reeces Rainbow

A Mothers Love, reaches from the stars above,
For a Mothers Love knows no more than to Love,
For a Mother to love someone she has never even met or cared for that's the Love the Least of these deserve.
No matter the circumstance, even if their not really her children she loves them no matter what.
For a mother to willingly make sacrifices for her children even if they were just "hers" via a picture.

That's the Best gift a Mother can give, whether it's helping to support her Daughters passion & dreams.
Or just being the best Mom she can be loving her kids near & far no matter what
That's what a Mothers Love is to me. Happy Mothers day Mom & all the other moms, grandmas, aunts, someday moms, adoptive moms, birth moms, & Mommy-to-be! Though I'm no Mom I have had people in the past say happy mom-in-training day. No matter what I will be thinking of my "children" who are now stuck because of this ban.  Love you Alden,


Cora Lynne,

And Celine
I am praying for you today & know you are not forgotten. 
Love you Emily!

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Letter to my daughters of my heart|Reeces Rainbow

Dear daughters of my Heart, 
Though you don't know how badly I want to hold you in my arms & say everything is going to be okay I want you to know Jesus loves you. I pray everyday for things to change in your country. From the moment I saw your pictures I loved you from afar.

I knew already I could never be your real mama but I knew especially when the doors of your country closed that I was your Heart mama & it felt like I was missing a huge part of me. My heart shredded to pieces dealing with issues of yes, Jealousy, anger, & loss. It felt like I lost a child or dear loved one. The day your grants were transferred to other kids as much as I was happy to be giving to the other girls I have advocated for it hurt knowing you might never be adopted & all God had done through both your grants. Mothers day is this Sunday & though I am not a mother yet I will be thinking of my precious girls who are without a Mommy & all the orphans stuck in that country. Girls, this momma is doing everything she can do to fight for your right to your forever mommas & praying without end for God's Plan in your lives. Even if it's never to be in a family know someone on the other side of the world loves you & even more God Loves You so much. If I never meet you this side of Heaven I look forward to the day when I see you in Heaven. I have gone through the emotional ride & at peace most days but though I still struggle God's got me & he knows the plans for me & for "my" girls. Love you girls so much & I will always think of you as my little girls. Your forever Heart Momma

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Deeply Loved forever|Reeces Rainbow

You were my sunshine, 
 Your smile was the key to a piece of me I never thought possible. Like Quinton, I Thought surely your family would find you quickly. Then when your region shutdown I was frantically thinking hope was lost for you but I kept praying. Your door to your region was reopen then all the sudden wham the door to your whole country closed. I never thought this was the path God had lead me to after all he had done through your grant. Tears have been on this up & down ride as I still prayed whatever you want for both girls lives. He has answered my prayers in more ways than one. Most recently, the blessing of new hope that Cora Lynne has gifted to Zinnia who now has a family!
 Cora Lynne, my darling girl. I don't know what kind of place your in or if your doing well. Your daunting eyes is what first captured my heart strings & is what worries me. I have no way to know but am praying for Gods plan for you. Even if you or Celine don't get to be part of a family know that you were deeply loved by me as if you were my own daughter. Because of you touching my life, now you have hopefully touched the life of Zinnia so that she can be loved.
 I know this path may still be hard for me at times but even if the girls don't become available again I know I will see them again someday in Heaven.  Girls, I love you very much & I always will. Love your "momma".

I want to say a HUGE THANKS TO MY FRIENDS & FAMILY AGAIN ALL WHO PLAYED A PART OF MY 21 FOR 21 YOU ALL ARE WHY NOW THESE TWO GIRLS HAVE FAMILIES!! Though Celine & Cora Lynne are who we started it for, it now has become so much more. Should the girls country opens its doors again I know I can count on everyone to rally for them. I always will treasure this moment surrounded by all my church family & friends.